Happy Hour • Listener Stories

[00:00:00] Hello, welcome to Kinks and Cocktails. My name is Katie. I have new friends of me today.

[00:00:19] Big deal. And I'm Jake. Yeah. So we all hung out tonight and tomorrow we're going to

[00:00:26] to do a Bingo, aren't we? You mean Bingo. Yeah. Okay. So we also have a dog with us.

[00:00:36] She's adorable. Yeah. That's right. I'm sorry. This is your mouth. She her name is Mochi.

[00:00:40] Don't be sorry. This is my puppy Mochi and she is she's got a little husky in her and

[00:00:45] she's very dramatic. Are we all? That's all right. So should we get started with some stories

[00:00:53] here? Let's do it. I think so. Okay. So I guess I'll start. All right, here we go. So our

[00:01:00] first story is she said or they said, so what I was younger, I still lived with my parents

[00:01:07] when I went to college. It was the 1960s and my parents had one of those doctor's souls vibrating

[00:01:15] foot massagers. It sat on the floor and had two round pads that vibrated. My parents weren't

[00:01:22] home. I would take it for a joy ride. Nowadays, I always prefer to be on top and I think it's

[00:01:30] because I was always sitting on the foot massager. But anyways, it would always weird me out

[00:01:40] when I would see my parents using it after I used it. Hope that's not too weird from X.

[00:01:50] So I'm wondering, a poti-poti act trickly? Has that helped her out? Like a lot. Like if she goes for

[00:02:02] a long walk, she gets done with it and she's just like, I'm on top of the world. Well, I use

[00:02:10] a lot of things. You said doctor's souls or what? Yeah, doctor's souls has no idea the benefits.

[00:02:17] I mean maybe yeah. All right, Dia, you ready to read the next one?

[00:02:26] It's kind of a lot of stuff. You can do it. My boyfriend really loves eating my ass

[00:02:33] and doing other ass play with me. Super super into anal. We went out for a date night and ended up

[00:02:41] having lots of cocktails and some very spicy wings. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. We got home,

[00:02:52] start having sex and naturally he brought out the... naturally he brought out the buck plugs.

[00:02:59] Naturally. But inside of me. So I did, we played around for a while, I fell asleep,

[00:03:06] I forgot to take the plug out. Oh no. I fell asleep. I'm sorry, can I interrupt?

[00:03:13] How do you forget after so many drinks? I don't know. Cocktailed. No. Well, no. She did.

[00:03:23] But after some wings, is this gonna fly out? Well, find out. Yeah. All right, I'm wondering if

[00:03:30] it's gonna slap against the side wall. Keep going. Keep going. Let's get to happen with this, Dia.

[00:03:38] Big D, tell us what's gonna happen. Well a few hours later, she woke up. Her stomach was rumbling.

[00:03:50] Oh, this is the boyfriend. This is the boyfriend. No, she was rumbling from the spicy wings

[00:03:56] and was still a little bit tipsy. She went to the bathroom to do her business and heard a very

[00:04:02] loud thunk and then toilet bowl and didn't think anything of it. How do you not think anything of it?

[00:04:10] Okay anyways. The next morning we realized the toilet wasn't working. Oh. It wasn't flushing.

[00:04:18] Is it different kind of plug at that point? I might have pooped it out and flushed it down the stainless steel,

[00:04:26] the stainless steel butt plug. One of those actually, I'm gonna interrupt. Do they rent her own?

[00:04:32] I don't know. Wait, the house or the butt plug? Yeah, the flush with that.

[00:04:40] Oh no. Imagine that ticket. Right, right?

[00:04:45] So we had to take the entire toilet off from the floor and my boyfriend even had to hire a plumber

[00:04:53] friend to help us out. Of course we had to tell a friend what actually happened and was very

[00:04:59] embarrassing. To make matters worse, the very next day we had to go to a fancy business dinner with

[00:05:05] his friends. No. And I was embarrassed the entire time because you could tell his friends knew how

[00:05:13] uncomfortable I was from the situation. I bet. Lesson learned. Lights out, plugs out. That is my new,

[00:05:20] you need to put that in a fucking pillow. Love the podcast. Thank you so much for allowing

[00:05:26] Kinksters to have a safe space to tell their stories. AKA Anonymous but plug lover. Oh my god.

[00:05:34] But so she like pooped out her butt plug randomly in the middle of the night after

[00:05:42] I don't know if that's random. Okay, I hate you the person TMI. Don't have that much experience but

[00:05:49] like to that level where you don't realize to the point where it's like clogging up the toilets.

[00:05:58] Well, there's different sizes. So I guess we know the side. There might be a lot of cocktails

[00:06:04] to this kink. Uh-huh. All I'm saying is. Sorry, that is my dog. That is not what I am saying

[00:06:15] but I did say that as well. Um, all right, that is the kind of lady I'm looking for.

[00:06:21] No, no, no, no. Because that is some kinks and cocktails. I tell you what? That's, that sounds like an

[00:06:30] exciting, exciting night. Wow. In a fiery night. Very fiery. Those spicy wings and

[00:06:37] what a friend they had. Right. Could you imagine I could not imagine that scenario.

[00:06:44] Especially at the business meeting. Oh, that was a Friday night and they just had the whole weekend

[00:06:50] left to just fix the situation. I don't know if that was a goal. There was a lot of fixing in

[00:06:58] that situation but it wasn't, you know, like relationship-wise, I hope it was fine. It was just

[00:07:05] toilet fixing. Um, I can't imagine just well, I mean, I can't imagine.

[00:07:14] Should move on to the next one. I think so. All right, I appreciate you sending that in.

[00:07:19] I appreciate that one. That was no pun intended. All right, those wild. All right, next one.

[00:07:28] Hi, kinks and cocktails and hi to Bianca. Oh, we have a Bianca fan. Bianca. All right. How exciting.

[00:07:37] I am a fan of the show and one of the chance to tell my secret. One thing's giving

[00:07:44] I had a ton of leftovers, pumpkin pie stuffing turkey all of it. I had also just watch the movie

[00:07:52] American Pie. Where's this going? I'm already scared. I'm right. Well, what a classic movie. I mean,

[00:08:00] it would not hold up today. It would not. It wasn't really was just get that. Yeah, anyways,

[00:08:08] so we all know that main scene about the pie. Well, curious curiosity got the best of me and I

[00:08:18] said to try it. I was not as satisfying as I thought it would be. So I figured why stop there

[00:08:27] and to keep trying other things next I tried mashed potatoes and gravy. Well, if I knew it was

[00:08:34] going to be that kind of party. I'm not going to lie, it was really enjoyable and I have done it

[00:08:41] a few times since now I'm curious but other foods but that will be for another time in the future.

[00:08:50] Maybe maybe for Christmas they said. Thanks for all that you do. Some food.

[00:08:56] What's that? Wow. Mash potatoes. I'm in the mashed potato. Mash potato. What's that

[00:09:06] like a fruitcake? What is well, I mean are you are you forming something with a mashed potato or

[00:09:13] you just slapping it on. They didn't say we want details. Please. It is ham. Oh, is that an

[00:09:22] ornamental toe? Well, I you know, whatever it gets you off that's great but I have questions

[00:09:36] as to how you are actually doing it. We want answers. Is it a loob? Yeah. The gravy

[00:09:46] thing gets me like definitely. Yeah, like the potatoes are what brand mash potatoes?

[00:09:56] What brand or is it homemade but are you forming it on the table? No,

[00:10:03] dinner for one dinner dinner dinner for one or dinner for many.

[00:10:10] All right, are you ready Big D? I never got one. I think it's a very short one just that little bit.

[00:10:21] Do you know the sound that some people make while kissing like the smack sound that comes from sucking?

[00:10:30] I don't know but yeah, I like it. ASMR smacking? No, I hate the smacking.

[00:10:37] I hate the smacking. I hate the lip smacking ASMR. He did. It's disgusting. I don't mind it.

[00:10:44] I think it shows affection. I mean, it depends. I mean it's time in place. Yeah,

[00:10:51] it's a time in place. You know, like if I'm doing it myself with my partner fine but I'm

[00:10:59] not like listening to it. Well, I feel like it was like as an adult. What if you're doing it in like

[00:11:04] a nice condenser microphone that we're doing right now? Well about it. Do you like ASMR?

[00:11:11] I don't like that. That's not what you do. The only ASMR is like people walking on snow and

[00:11:18] the crunching of the snow, I like that. I don't like the lip smacking. What about if it's crunching

[00:11:25] on people's lips? No, no. No lip smacking. No as adults. Let's don't like that. Yeah.

[00:11:38] All right. Are you ready? Big D is it your turn? Is it my turn or if you more? Is it your turn or

[00:11:45] my turn? Feel. Okay. It's a long one. It's a long one. All right, big D. Good thing I've been practicing.

[00:11:52] Big D. Bring that energy. It's a long one.

[00:11:57] Let me sit down for this. Okay, I'm already sitting down.

[00:12:02] You months ago I was drinking. Here we go. Here we go. And one of my guy friends admitted to having

[00:12:10] a like-fellish. I didn't even know what to think of it at the time so I asked him to elaborate on it.

[00:12:20] He said anytime he sees a girl wearing leggings specifically Lulu lemons.

[00:12:26] Call out marketing. Big D loves Lulu lemon. His cock instantly gets hard and makes him really horny.

[00:12:36] I couldn't help but laugh because I've been wearing Lulu's my whole night.

[00:12:41] I asked him, are you telling me this because you're wearing some right now yourself?

[00:12:47] He noted yes. Guys, I think more guys should wear Lulu's but that's what personal opinion are anyways.

[00:12:57] He said yes, I wasn't really interested in him sexually but I adored him as a person

[00:13:03] so he played into his fantasy. I served rubbing- That's weird right there.

[00:13:09] Well she sort of- oh they served rubbing my thighs and pulling my leggings up tighter to expose my

[00:13:16] counter. Oh wow that shifted quick. All he could do was stare at my lower body. I turned around,

[00:13:24] showing him my ass and then bent over in my black Lulu lemon leggings. She went all in

[00:13:30] and he was getting so horny he started stroking his cock inside his pants. Where were they?

[00:13:37] Wow what's- Yeah where were it? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my goodness. Oh yeah no we're just at church

[00:13:46] hard to even simply do that. I'm not a guy but okay I told him to take it out. Oh my god

[00:13:53] and worship me while he jerks himself off. Hope to God they were not in a church or public

[00:14:00] not even 30 seconds, 30 seconds seconds ago by or 30 seconds by and he tells me he's about to come.

[00:14:11] He begs to come on my Lugging. Whoa what? I tell him to beg some more. I'm gonna die.

[00:14:23] Wow he looks at me for the first time and begs even more. And I allow it and his cock explodes

[00:14:31] all over the front of my leggings. Oh my god. It sounds like a good night to me.

[00:14:37] I'm all over them and I've truly never seen him that's satisfied before. Okay so back story she

[00:14:44] knows him. And then never thought I would tell anyone this before this things to all the laughs

[00:14:49] keep it up anonymous. Oh my god. This sounds like I hate to be the person that sounds like a friend's

[00:14:55] zoned guy. It sounds like Nikita. It sounds like a good night for that dude. I bet he slept so

[00:15:05] fucking well. I bet he just went to sleep and here is just like I think she had to work it.

[00:15:11] I think she did and she knew what he wanted. He knew what he wanted.

[00:15:16] No notice there wasn't anything like after that. It wasn't like. She was just kind of like

[00:15:22] hey you're into this. Let's do it. Yeah. We'll never know but I think they were right back.

[00:15:29] It seemed like she was into it as well but not you know. She must have been to work Hamilton and

[00:15:38] like lift it up enough to be like take it out. Yeah that's something right I mean this wasn't like oh

[00:15:45] yeah like now we're dating or anything but no commitment. She definitely that was like a friend's

[00:15:54] own like hate that word but hey we're close to her now. She was like hey hello.

[00:16:02] The next day you're just kind of like hey yeah what do you do next? How's it going?

[00:16:08] I hope that we lose together. Yeah go to Lou the lemon. Yeah yeah yeah. I don't know

[00:16:13] that it's the call me every time you go to Lou the lemon now. I don't know Lou the lemon.

[00:16:19] Is there like a branding on it where the only little tiny one. Okay okay I don't know.

[00:16:24] Tiny tiny tiny. Okay did he get it? Did he got Lou lemon? Did he get the Lou the lemon? Oh he

[00:16:33] got Lou the lemon alright. Yeah. All right so is it my turn? Sure. All right so they said

[00:16:44] I'm female 19 discovered I orgasmed faster during masturbation when I record myself.

[00:16:55] I recently found out that I can give myself much quicker and more pleasurable orgasms when

[00:17:00] I record a sexy video of myself masturbating. Okay the sex bars in all caps. I don't know why this

[00:17:08] is true or what it means am I a fucking narcissist? What does this even say about me?

[00:17:15] I haven't heard of others doing this. Am I the only one help? I mean I don't do that so I don't

[00:17:21] know but I would expect for like if you're doing it for more than you then you would do more but

[00:17:28] again I don't know but like I think you would do more you know what I mean. I do have no it's

[00:17:32] about this because I did have to research a few. Did he do kinks and cocktails? Yes.

[00:17:38] Well I would say just right off the bat that does not make you a narcissist. Like a narcissist is

[00:17:47] some pretty heavy pretty heavy shit that does not. The categories do not align.

[00:17:55] All right yeah no I think that the idea of a narcissist in today's society is very

[00:18:06] it doesn't really. I'll take over. I do have some like notes about this. I looked it up

[00:18:14] me being me. I love it. You have the notes ready to go. So Kim Kardashian recently came out as

[00:18:20] an auto sexual. That's your reference. Are you ready? She's a narcissist right? Listen and

[00:18:27] that okay it's a trait we're in one is turned on by their own eroticism and I'm going to share

[00:18:35] quote from Casey Tanner the founder of queer sex therapy. Casey Tanner the founder queer sex

[00:18:43] therapy. So they said while masturbation is an example auto sexuality may extend beyond sexual

[00:18:51] behavior to include feeling a belonging a longing or desire for oneself and then Tanner explains

[00:19:02] it can also be the ability to turn oneself on through looking at visualizing sorry

[00:19:11] or touching or smelling oneself. So I read the article and they wrote like more and I'm going to

[00:19:20] tell you to the person who wrote this in thank you for writing it but the sex therapist said

[00:19:27] this is not a narcissist like behavior. Yeah I was saying we're one not people are just scared of

[00:19:34] themselves and they said so scared of loving themselves and they usually don't think of themselves

[00:19:44] as beautiful enough and think of the cells as beautiful enough to be good enough etc like

[00:19:51] to be sexualized but they said it's actually very healthy to be attracted to yourself. So

[00:19:58] sounds like you've got a healthy case of auto sexuality. I think that's amazing. Yeah so go

[00:20:05] you do your thing proud of you for loving yourself when I love the way you put that but unpopular

[00:20:10] opinion I hate that we have to categorize how you have to think about your sexuality just me

[00:20:16] personally I was going to hate me for saying this but like just do what you want to do and don't

[00:20:21] be weird out by your effort like categorize it I feel like it's okay to love yourself. Yeah I don't

[00:20:25] like need to be like oh there's a category for fuck with taking Kardashian yeah or whoever no

[00:20:31] one needs it was no one needs to categorize it in my opinion don't hate me please viewers subscribers

[00:20:36] whatever it is don't hate whatever I have to say but like my personal opinion is like you don't

[00:20:41] need to like categorize it in my opinion you just have to like just do it and accept it. It's okay

[00:20:47] to love yourself when I love that I think people made it safe but I hate that that's still thing

[00:20:53] people made it a thing because it was Kim Kardashian I know I'm gonna love yourself we don't

[00:20:59] need to categorize and call it so bad yeah yeah it's okay to love yourself you're just because

[00:21:04] your Kim like whatever it's fine love yourself it's healthy it's okay where is we poor

[00:21:11] being healthy and love yourself and be turned on by yourself it's okay more per poor more per

[00:21:17] but we're just more per the poor than Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian sponsor us

[00:21:26] all right he wants to read the last one I will all right all right Jake there you go all right

[00:21:34] 24 female I get turned on by guys confessing their kinks and fetishes I'm only posting this

[00:21:42] because it made me feel some kind of slutty lol but I've noticed I get turned on when

[00:21:49] guys confess to their wild kinks and fan of these fantasies even when I'm not really into those

[00:21:56] kinks are fetishes ever grow on 2024 is this like a medicink lol figured okay hate for the person

[00:22:05] but well on 2024 I'm so young this would be an extra soothing for your podcast best of wishes

[00:22:15] and please keep making episodes I've been missing you guys you guys thank you yes man all right

[00:22:24] well I mean I like that that is a weird I mean maybe it's not weird I'm sorry um I like that

[00:22:33] direct very direct so you're into what we're doing yes man I hope everyone is

[00:22:44] you like hearing that people are uh confessing their kinks to you and we are doing exactly what

[00:22:51] I hope you like it well I hate to be that person to end the note on a terrible note stop talking

[00:22:56] about but I like that a lot of these aren't even like kinks they're like normal but people like don't

[00:23:03] know they're normal that's why you like to talk about it is like yeah exactly this isn't

[00:23:08] weird I mean some of them where it's be honest but like some of them are kinks honestly but like these

[00:23:13] aren't even like there's like life yeah I like people can be under 24 confessing what they want

[00:23:21] and it's just it's realizing that every it's normal and it's okay well you're gonna educate in like

[00:23:27] I mean specifically in this case I think it's you know when somebody expresses when somebody

[00:23:36] opens up and to you whether it's a whether we think it's a kink or accept it as a kink or whatever

[00:23:47] when somebody opens up to you and like uh it's like hey this is what I'm into express is it

[00:23:55] and yet like there is you know a degree of you know there might be shame there they're vulnerable

[00:24:02] they're vulnerability and that's the thing is vulnerability yeah when when somebody becomes

[00:24:09] vulnerable with you that is very very special and so jasmine like I can completely understand yes

[00:24:16] man I'm sorry can completely understand where you're coming from uh where when someone opens up to

[00:24:25] you or when you hear somebody opening up where that is it's very special it really is yeah and that's

[00:24:34] what we're here to do all right is somebody else have anything else to say we appreciate all the

[00:24:42] um everybody that wrote in thank you so much we really appreciate it um we are kinks and cocktails

[00:24:50] thank you big D and Jake keep writing in please yeah if you want to write in you can do it so at

[00:24:56] kinks and cocktails at gmail.com um you can also find a anonymous google doc thing on our twitter

[00:25:08] you can find it and you'll be 100% anonymous so this will only be on our patreon if you're

[00:25:15] gonna join a patreon and be for a dollar a month only one dollar where that cheap or those cheap

[00:25:21] bitches so we love you all follow us on social media and please read us five stars we like it helps

[00:25:28] us so much and if you have anything else please write in kinks and cocktails at gmail.com and we have

[00:25:37] a special friend here a little dog named mochi mochi bark it's Jake's dog anyways thank you

[00:25:48] everyone so much we appreciate it love you guys bye bye