Episode 43 • Dragon Kinks: Fantasy, Romance & Fire-Breathing Desire

[00:00:01] This is Kinks and Cocktails, a podcast where we explore all things kink and all things drink. Kinks and Cocktails contains explicit content. Listener discretion is advised. Hi everyone! We are Kinks and Cocktails, a podcast where we explore different kink every episode. My name is Katie. And I'm Eve. Hi Eve. Hi Katie, how are you?

[00:00:27] Better now that we're home from Frenchman's, the dive bar by my house that we go to every time before we record. Yeah, that was a funny little adventure. So yeah, we like to have a little pre-recording meeting. We had it at Frenchman's this time and well, Katie had a wardrobe malfunction. I did! We were just sitting there and I'm wearing like a thin strapped dress. And we're just sitting there hanging out and all of a sudden we both saw it. It was like in slow motion.

[00:00:55] It was! One of the straps in my dress just like popped off. Yeah. All threads and all, we both just looked at each other, eyes wide like, oh shit! I went over thinking it like it had come unhooked, but no, it completely was just ripped off your dress. Just popped off like nothing happened. It's just like, oh, I'm just gonna pop off now. Usually we're good at like MacGyvering a situation like that. This was no, we asked for like... Safety pin. Nobody had anything.

[00:01:20] So I just sat there for like 45 minutes holding the strap on my dress because I wasn't wearing a bra or anything. So now we're home and that's better now. Yeah. But I think the best part of this story was like... Oh God! Yeah, don't forget about this part. How you're like, well, I think we need to pay and go because like I don't know how to go to the bathroom. I'm like, what do you mean? How do we do it with one hand? I said, you're in there by yourself. This did not click with me at first.

[00:01:48] I'm like, Eve, I can't like hold the strap and go to the bathroom. I can't do that all one handed. And for it did not click in me. And she's like looking at me like, what are you talking about? Oh my God. Oh my God. Yep. And I was like, well, we'll just put that in that it didn't happen. And then we decided to tell you all the story. I was hoping you would have forgot about that. No, there's no way I was gonna let that slide by. Oh boy, I'm never gonna let that down. Okay. Anyways. Yeah. So here we are.

[00:02:16] Well, a few weeks ago we went to Exotica in Minneapolis. Sure did. That was fun. It was so much fun actually. RIP our handcuffs. Oh, they died immediately. They broke like three seconds after we put them on. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And I tried to try to totally troll our friends by putting them on them and they just ripped them off. It was like, okay, well that was fun while it lasted. That's what you get for buying like $5 handcuffs off Amazon. Yeah, exactly. But it was fun. Yeah.

[00:02:45] And you may see some of the content we've been posting about some of the people that we interviewed, man, there was some interesting stuff. So good. Yeah. I just go to our Instagram, go to us on social media to check that stuff out. Cause those are some really interesting kinks that we discovered. It was a good time. Mm hmm. So what have you been up to Eve? Oh man. You know, I went and DJed in Canada. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and this week I hosted my first comedy show with Alina. Yes. At the terminal bar.

[00:03:15] So getting into that. Mm hmm. That was so much fun. I heard great things about it. I wasn't able to make it, but. It was, it was a lot of fun. It was really busy. Lots and lots of people that I had never met before. So it was a really good experience overall. And, and, and, you know, I, uh, Alina said I did a good job. So yay. Good. Awesome. Yeah. Let's see you, Danny and I joined a gym. I know you told me. Yeah. I told Danny that my only rule for us joining a gym.

[00:03:43] Cause he wanted to join was as long as there's a pool. Yes. Cause I love swimming. Yeah. As exercise. Such exercise, by the way. It is. You know, it's low, low impact. Mm hmm. You get to get wet. Ooh. That's the best part. I don't know where to go after that. So I got some like waterproof headphones and just, I just go and swim for a couple hours and while Danny works out. And yeah. I love that. Hell yeah. It's good. So what are we talking about today? Mm. Dragons.

[00:04:14] And? Dragon Deez Nuts. Okay. Sorry. We've been wanting to make that joke and we don't know where to fit it in. There it is. Found the spot. There it is. Yes. Dragons. A.k.a. Teratophilia. Just wanting to have sex with dragons. Mm hmm. It's also, um, kind of like a subcategory of dracophilia. Dracophilia. Yeah.

[00:04:39] Um, which was pretty funny to do research on because dracophilia also means something else. Mm hmm. Did you come across this? I did not. No. So it also means people who want to have sex or have the hots for Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter. Oh my gosh. Dracophilia. Oh, okay. Well that's like a whole nother. I know. That's completely different, but also still kind of in the same area since it's fantasy. Yep. That's a whole different episode. Interesting.

[00:05:07] So I kept trying to like research this and good old Draco Malfoy kept popping up. I mean like. In ways I've never seen him before. Okay. I feel like I should search that up. Wow. Interesting. So I should go over, let's see our drink and snack pairing. Oh yeah, absolutely. Which we had some challenges. We did. So we decided it's for drink. We're going to do a flaming shot. Of course. Yes.

[00:05:35] Um, so yeah, I mean, we took video, but you can't really see the flame in the video. It's more like bubbling sugar. So it's a sugar cube that we lit on fire as you're supposed to do. And it was bubbling. It was doing its thing, but, and then we had some funny props in there in the background. Yeah. You'll just go see it. You'll just have to see it. Yeah. I'm getting very ridiculous. We were having fun with it. Yeah. I'm like, well, this whole thing is a blooper. So let's just go with it. Yep.

[00:06:06] It's really, it's, it's, it's next level. I mean, I did. So we were, Danny and I were like whiskey hunting last weekend. Yeah. Um, and we did find a bottle of whiskey with a dragon on it, on the label. It was only $699. Oh yeah. No big deal. Just saying George whiskey, please sponsor us. Yeah. We will do flaming shots on every episode. If you sponsor us and see this bottle. Let's see the snack pairing.

[00:06:36] Oh God. So we were going to, I was like, well, let's eat something spicy. You know, fire breathing. If you want to give heartburn and I'll be breathing fire. Yeah. So I can handle spicy. Yeah. You can't. And we, I still wanted her to be able to record today. So. Um, we decided to do eat dragon fruit, which, Oh my God. Suspense it. Do you know how much a singular. One, one fruit, one singular thing.

[00:07:06] One singular thing of dragon fruit. So guess how much it was. They're probably going to guess higher, but you know, $8. It was like, you know, it's like, you need a banana for like 59 cents. Not even, you can get a banana for like 20 cents. Yeah. I mean, I understand why it's expensive, but $8. Yeah. It's a bit, it's a bit over the top in this economy. All right. Well, so we had, so what did you end up doing with it? You just ate it.

[00:07:33] Well, so I bought it and even I, we couldn't record when we planned to. Something came up and so I'm like, have this dragon fruit, this expensive ass fruit in my fridge. And I'm like, every day I'm like, Eve. I'm like, what? Turn it into the ice cubes and put it in the drink. I'm like, then it's going to be bad. I don't know what to do with this. I don't want to waste it. And I'm like, cause we don't know when we could record next. Yeah. And I'm like, this is an expensive piece of fruit. I was like, Eve, I'm just going to eat it. And I took pictures. It was good.

[00:08:02] It was delicious. It better be for $8. It was good. Great. So anyway, so there we go. There's the snack pairing. It's gone. It's gone. It was good. Until next time. No, there will be no next time of $8. No, it'll be, it'll be, Hey, um, whoever makes dragon fruit, you sponsor us, right? Whoever makes dragon fruit. Yeah, obviously that's it. Or everyone please go join our Patreon.

[00:08:31] Please rate us five stars, please. Okay. Make it so we can buy $8 dragon fruit whenever we want. And then on every episode from the makers of dragon fruit. Yes. Kings and cocktails. Yes. Should we do fun, Betty? Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to go first? Or do you want me to? Oh man, I got so many. Let's see. Um, yeah. Why don't you go first? Let me look for the best one here. Yeah. Um, let's see. Obviously there's several different types of dragons. Yeah. So many.

[00:09:01] I did not write them all down. Oh yeah. That would actually probably be a good, a good list. I have a good one actually. Okay. So, um, this is an interesting thing that I found, I found as a fun fact. So dragon Tik Tok is surprisingly wholesome. Um, really? Yeah. It's like, really? Okay. Cause you know, you wouldn't think that. So much of the content revolves around like cosplay artwork, like wholesome stuff. There's not a whole lot of like sexy fantasy about dragons on Tik Tok of all places. We are on way different sides of Tik Tok.

[00:09:31] Oh yeah. Well it's, I mean, there's a lot on Tik Tok, but most of it is surprisingly wholesome. Okay. Like more like romance. Not like, yeah. There's only so much you can put on. There's not a lot of adult themes around it. Yeah. So anyways, I thought that was interesting. Um, let's, there's other websites for what you're talking about Eve. Oh yeah. I just, you know, Hey. So in FetLife, there's over 16,000 members with dragon, the word dragon in their FetLife

[00:10:00] name or profile. Whoever has dragon D's nuts. High five. High five. High five my guy or my girl. You need that on a t-shirt. I do. Oh God. Um, oh, this is a really fun Fetty. Okay. Someone on Reddit did the math. Yeah. About how big a real dragon's penis would be. Oh, yeah. Depends on the dragon. Of course. Yeah. Do you want to take a guess though? I don't know.

[00:10:30] Five foot. Anywhere between three to eight feet long. Man, I nailed it. You did. You totally did. Okay. I guess that's a fun fact. Yes. Here. We never took the shot that's sitting in front of us here. We should probably do that. Should I do that? Let's. Yeah. Yeah. You drink out. We only made one, so we'll split it. This is the flaming shot. That's really gross. What flavor is it? I don't know. The bottle's right here. What flavor is it? Read it. Oh, kinky sour lime. Oh God. And it's mixed with.

[00:11:00] It's green. That's why we chose it for dragons. And that was. Ew. That is gross. Yeah. Put that away. No, no. It looked pretty, but. No, no. Okay. Moving on. You go funfetti next. Okay. So anyways. So let's see. So here's a good one. So, so fantasy biology gets really surprisingly detailed. Interestingly enough. Mm hmm.

[00:11:26] So like there's detailed stuff about the insides of dragons, how they breathe fire and like why they fly despite their size, what they eat, all kinds of stuff. Surprisingly, like it's goes deep into that stuff. I got something a bit deeper than that. That's kind of related. Yeah. Go nuts. Um, so what about. So sexually. Yeah. What about a two headed dragon? You got two five foot dicks. Maybe. I don't know.

[00:11:57] Okay. Yeah. Uh, or like. A two headed dragon is a thing. So. Mm hmm. Okay. You know what? Yeah. Just sparking everybody's imagination over here. What if it's a girl dragon with two heads? Does it matter? I don't know. I'm just thinking about things out loud. Mm hmm. You know, their, their biology. Yeah. We'll see. Well, I guess we won't. Well, I don't know. We'll see or not. So. Okay.

[00:12:27] Oh, no. Oh, wow. Okay. So I, I thought this was fun. So conventions have dragon meetup meetups. Mm hmm. Like kink meetups for dragons. Okay. So many of the furry, um, uh, uh, meetups that you have like, or the cosplays, fantasy conventions that organize stuff around that. There's a whole section that's dedicated to dragons. Oh. Yeah. Which I was like. Okay. Interesting for us to go and interview some of those folks. You know what I mean? Right.

[00:12:52] So it's tons and tons of colorful dragons and, and posing together just like you would see furries. I love it. Okay. I was like, yeah, I want to go meet some dragons. Let's go. No kidding. Mm hmm. Um, the sex toy company called bad dragon makes an average of $13 million per year. Well, we totally missed our calling. Right. It's not too late. It's not too late. Mm hmm. Let's hit them up and we'll start making dragons. Yes. Nice. Just dragons.

[00:13:22] Just dragons. Yes. That's all I have for fun, buddy. Yeah. I've got some other ones, but they're not as fun. So. All right. You know, and there's like, there's stuff that we're gonna, we'll, uh, we'll get into that is probably in the, in the history and such. So. I'm sure. Yeah. Take it away with history. Yeah. All right. Let's pull this up. So of course this is gonna be so fun because it's like, it's fantasy, but history, you know? So, so, uh, I mean, I think most people, unless you've been living under a rock know

[00:13:51] that dragons started in ancient civilization. Right. So, so let's think back to like 3000 BCE to 500 CE. So when dragons meant power, you're the dom. Yeah. So long before dragons start, uh, like start in fantasy novels or represent power, fertility, wisdom, or like chaos, they really represented these things across tons and tons of cultures. So for example, there's a ton of different, um, types of dragons, like you mentioned earlier.

[00:14:20] Some have wings, some don't. Yep. Right. So in China, dragons symbolized imperial power, prosperity, rain, masculine energy. They weren't monsters. They were revered beings. Yeah. But in Mesopotamia, dragon-like creatures guarded temples and represented divine authority. Whereas in Greek, uh, mythology dragons or drakons, if you will, they guarded sacred treasures and possess supernatural intelligence.

[00:14:49] So all kinds of different things that they represented. And some were friendly, some were not so friendly. So ancient art occasionally depicted humans embracing or riding dragons. Okay. Yep. Hey, hey. Yes. So through these scenes, uh, symbolized dominance or divinity rather than sexuality. Mm-hmm. However, you could see how these things would start to intertwine. Okay. Oh, for sure. The oldest known dragon stories are over 4,000 years old. Okay.

[00:15:16] So been around for a long time. And so we're moving in now to like medieval Europe. So 500 to 1500. So slay the dragon or maybe not. Mm-hmm. Okay. I'll just intersect with a short little story here. Sure. Um, I used to date a guy. Oh God. And, um, I won't tell who this is. It's been many, many, many years ago. Uh huh. But him and his buddies used to call when they would conquer a woman, so to speak, they'd call it slaying the dragon.

[00:15:46] Oh my God. I was like, oh really? Yeah. Oh my God. So anyways. Dude, dude, I just slayed the dragon. Dude, I slayed the dragon last night. I'm like, dude too. But it's like, but they would talk, they, it was in reference to like the women that were like really, you know, top tier. So anyways. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, whatever. So, uh, back to the middle ages. You have to tell me later who that is. Oh yeah. I don't know. You don't know him, but we'll find out.

[00:16:16] Yeah. So during the middle, middle ages, dragons became villains. Okay. Which is, you know, it's a bummer, bummer for dragons cause they're pretty cool. So Christian stories portrayed dragons as representations of sin, temptation, evil, those types of things. Heroes like St. George became famous for slaying dragons. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Now that's going to be a thing through the whole rest of the episode. I know. Slaying the dragon tonight, baby. Oh God. Oh God.

[00:16:44] We're just texting that each other like all the time now. Hey, did you slay the dragon last night? So, oh my God. What have I done? So, uh, so anyways, this reinforced the idea that dragons really represent dangerous desires, which is, you know, it's just kind of came out of nowhere. A lot, a lot, a lot, like a lot of things in medieval times. So yeah. Ironically, medieval manuscripts are full of bizarre illustrations, which feature dragons behaving, behaving really unexpectedly.

[00:17:13] So while dragon kink itself certainly wasn't documented dragons became symbols of forbidden temptation as you can see as this starts to progress. Mm hmm. So, so the idea would resurface centuries later. Okay. So keep that in your back pocket. Will do. Yes. That's funny too, because one of the things I was reading about is that medieval monks would doodle about dragons. So they do surprising like goofy things and manuscripts.

[00:17:42] So it was, it was like, it started off almost like a goof in, in like comic, like in back in that time. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah. So part of it too, they, sometimes they'd be playing instruments or wearing clothes or doing all kinds of crazy. Oh, I see. Yeah. So you can see where this is going. Yep. Okay. So now we move into like the Renaissance to Victoria era. So think like 1500 to 1900. So fantasy becomes a romance. Mm hmm. Right. So as mythology evolved into literature, dragons became less symbolic and more like chaos.

[00:18:12] Characters. So fairy tales introduced dragons capable of conversation, even. Yep. Right. So they even transformed into different things. So, which you can still see in a lot of like movies and things like that with, you know, in today's times. Right. Romantic fantasy blurred the line between monster and misunderstood creature. Mm hmm. So, you know, that's, that's totally something that you can think like that people could relate to as well.

[00:18:39] Uh, Victorian monster fiction expanded the public fascination. So with creatures that were terrifying yet strangely alluring. So there's a lot of creatures, not just dragons during this time. Yeah. So now we move into like the 1900s to the 1970s. So early fantasy boom. Uh huh. Intelligent dragons arrive. So think of like smog from Lord of the Rings. Oh yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Got it.

[00:19:07] Like that was a sexy beast. Yep. It wasn't sexy in those movies or like in the books or whatever, but that's what we're talking about here. So authors began writing dragons as intelligent beings with personalities. Yep. Rather than just simple beasts. Dragons became heroes or mentors, companions, even. Uh, sometimes even tragic, tragic figures. So readers developed emotional attachments to dragon characters. So really people started to see this more in that, in that light.

[00:19:37] So the Sarah laid like the foundation for seeing dragons as developed fictional beings rather than monsters. Right. So, so they just drag, essentially they just gradually shifted from final boss, right? To your favorite character. Yeah. Like over that in psychology. Yes. Uh huh. You look at them and be like, you're like really Frenchy. You said that to me so much at Frenchman. I sure did.

[00:20:03] Cause I was like, just laughing my ass off, just sitting there holding my strap up and she's like, but you're like really pretty. Yeah. And then you forgot that you could use like your hand in the bathroom by yourself, like to go to the bathroom. But you're like really pretty. But you're like really pretty. Thanks Eve. You're my gross. So, yes. So now we move into the times of the seventies to the 1990s. Okay. So tabletop games, fantasy culture. Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. Roll for charisma, if you will.

[00:20:33] Okay. Yeah. D and D the explosion of fantasy gaming dramatically expanded dragon fandom and kink. So tabletop RPGs introduced dragons with distinct personalities, alignments, motivations, even romance. So fantasy artwork started portraying dragons as majestic and beautiful creatures. So we have role playing communities, communities are even began exploring dragon characters and stories and art.

[00:21:01] So we're just getting really deep into this stuff. So yeah. A long time ago. Yeah. I'm not even into dungeons and dragons. Uh huh. I just wanted to learn how to play just so I can be a fairy. And then, but then I learned about LARPing. I'm like, no, wait, that's what I want to do. Yeah. Like, you know, Renfest. Oh, that, you know what? You're like really pretty. I'd be like really pretty fairy. You'd be like really pretty fairy. I'd probably do it all wrong and stupid. That's fine. You could just be a pretty fairy.

[00:21:31] And you know, you'd be like, I cast sudden ugly on you or whatever. I don't know. I could not imagine myself playing that. Yeah. No diss to it. It's great. I just, you know me, I hang out with all the nerds. Oh yeah. Me too. I just wouldn't know what I'm doing. And I would just like, I just wanted to be a fairy. I'm just happy to be here. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Oh gosh. Well, let's talk about the internet era. Okay. Oh boy. Oh yeah. Okay. Cause there's like a lot of stuff out there. I go a lot over that in common practice.

[00:22:01] Oh yeah. Well, this is more like the history, obviously. So it was like the internet gave dragons, dragon enthusiasts really a place to find one another as did you know, the internet for a lot of things. Brings people together. Yep. Exactly. For better or for worse. True. Forums, you know, the fantasy role play sites, furry communities, they really flourished in this time. Artists began, became, or I'm sorry, began creating dragon or original characters. Okay.

[00:22:28] So dragon hybrids and dragon transformations, you know, it's just a whole community of this. So they're called scalies. Okay. Fans of reptilian, anthropomorphic characters became a recognizable part of furry fandom. This is what I was talking about earlier. So, so dragon appreciation evolved from simply loving fantasy into entire creative subcultures. Oh yeah. I mean, it just, it's just evolved into this huge thing.

[00:22:56] Uh, drag to become one of the most commonly drawn, not mammalian creatures in online furry communities. Okay. So now it does surprise me. Yeah. I mean like it's, you think furry, you think you don't think dragon right away. Exactly. You, you don't. Right. So that was one of the most interesting things for me to learn about. So modern dragon kink. So we're talking about, you know, obviously from 2010 to present. Uh, so today dragon kink is generally understood as attraction to dragon themed fantasy aesthetics

[00:23:26] or fictional characters. Okay. So in a common, it's commonly overlaps with interest in fantasy role play, uh, transformation, monster romance, monster aesthetic aesthetics, uh, anthro scaly art, uh, power dynamics centered on myth, uh, mythological creatures. For most people, it's less about the reptiles and more about fantasy archetypes. So immense power, the fight, treasure, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:23:53] So modern media is only fueled this fascination, right? Mm hmm. So with dragons becoming charismatic protagonists instead of villains. So that's where we're at. It's really perfect. Yeah. That's where we've come to. And it's just, it's really fascinating. It's come a long ways with the internet and stuff. Mm hmm. For sure. Mm hmm. Yes. Good job. Yeah. Good job. I'm like really pretty. You're like really pretty. Oh man.

[00:24:23] Perfect segue. You know, that psychology of where you last. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Take a sip here. Let's see. Mm hmm. Yeah. The psychology is going to be very interesting. There's lots of different points and which I'll go over each of them. Yeah. Um, so. All right. First off, here we go. The ultimate question. Why do humans want to hook up with dragons? It's a huge community. So let's dive deeper and find out why.

[00:24:54] Why do you want to hook up with dragons? Why? Why not? Right. Right. So I'm going to go over two major areas of psychology for this one. Uh huh. Part one. Yeah. If you want to dominate such a large like dinosaur size, scary fire breathing powerful creature. Mm hmm. Could you imagine that ultimate power trip you would get from that? Yeah. Of being able to do that? Like, you're like, yeah, you're like I do that daily. I mean, yeah, absolutely.

[00:25:23] I can see how good that would feel. Like, I don't know. You know, for me though, I don't, I would want to be like, it would be. You tamed the untameable. Yeah. For me, I wouldn't want, I would be, I want to be like friends with the dragon. Right. I wouldn't want to be, I wouldn't want to be like equal partners and be like, we're going to go blow some shit up together, buddy. Well, like that also kind of brings me to my next point. But like, I think dragons are like gentle giants. Yeah. They, yeah, absolutely. I really think they are. They can keep your ass. Uh huh. One breath, you know. But yeah.

[00:25:53] I'll also tell you that you're really pretty. Yeah. Oh my God. If I had a dragon telling me that I was really pretty. Oh God. First of all, I don't see a dragon doing that. But if it could, I'd be like, oh my God, let's go slay some shit. Right? Well, part number two of this, if you submit to a dragon, the opposite, you're giving total control to a supposedly huge predator, you know, a giant fire breathing dragon. Right. So like. You feel so protected by it.

[00:26:22] Yeah. So like, you know, you get with a dragon, your equal share, you know, your partners, your switch, reach a switch. Yeah. Or, you know, you just. As we. Just fly me around and tell me what to do. The respectful relationship of a sub and Dom. So. All right, let's see. I just want to find that dragon. It's like, hey, you want to go fuck shit up together? Let's go. There's an episode. Like Godzilla style. Dude. Oh, when we get to media, I'll bring that up later.

[00:26:52] Okay. Where it's kind of like that. Oh God. Okay. Oh man. I see. I get lost myself here. Um, get lost in the sauce. Yeah. The sauce being the dragons. Let's see. So for also for psychology is like, there's no risk. Yeah. It's all. Like you said, like people make up their own characters, their own, um, dragons aren't real. Like. Yeah. It's all made up.

[00:27:20] So you can create your own imaginary play and that feels safe for a lot of people. Yeah. Well, unless you bring it to an unhealthy obsession, which I'm not a doctor, so we're not going to go there. Yeah. I mean, I've never met anybody that's had an unhealthy obsession with dragons. Me either. So it's probably still a pretty low risk. Yeah. I mean, yeah. So unless you're doing something like that. Yeah. That's part of the reason people like it. The fantasy life. Yeah. I mean, being a human is hard.

[00:27:45] So it brings you to a place of fantasy and sex life, dating. And I mean, it's like Twilight is a thing. Yeah. Totally. People go crazy for Twilight. So this is like when we did. You remember we did that episode on furniture on human. Yeah. Right. It's like submission. Like I get to be furnished for a day and I don't have to think about anything at all. Yeah. Life is hard. I just want to be a coffee table today. I just want to submit to the dragon. Yeah. I'm going to go in my room. I'm going to read my dragon fantasy book and that's it. Yeah.

[00:28:15] Good for you. Buss out my old trusty vibrator and pretend I'm somewhere else. The dragon penis. I'm just picturing somebody slapping it on the table like time to bring her out. Oh my gosh. Yep. It's time to hit the old dusted trail. Oh my God. Nice. Um, common practices. Mm hmm. The big question. How does one have sex with a dragon? Well, um. Do you want me to tell you how? You don't.

[00:28:45] Want me to tell you how? Some kind of special ray that makes you bigger. Eve, just. Okay, sorry. Go along with it. Okay, go along with it. What is it? Close your eyes. Okay, I'm closing my eyes. Picture it in your head. I don't close my eyes. That's how. That's how you have sex with a dragon. Fuck you. Oh my God. No, anyways. So. Okay, I'm picturing it in my head now. Okay. That's how you do it. Perfect. That's how you have sex with a dragon. It's still not going great. It's not going great? Perfect.

[00:29:14] Well, if you need more of a better visual, you can go to rule34video.com. Probably not. You can watch it for science. For science. Um. There was just type in dragon into the search. Are you going to do it now? Oh God. Yep. Probably. Nah, I'll save it for after. My poor Google search history. Every single time. I swear. Oh my gosh. Dragon sex. Dragon sex. I saw a lot. So. Hold on. It's exactly how you think it's going to be.

[00:29:44] Like, I don't know how else to describe it. Go look it up yourself. I'm not going to explain it. What about the different kind of dragon? So, you know, there's like water dragons, you know, dragons that don't have wings and stuff. So now I'm imagining all kinds of different dragon sex with different kinds of dragons. You're welcome. All right. Let's move on before I get too far in this rabbit hole. So. You're welcome everybody. Some people think dragons breathe fire when they orgasm. Oh no.

[00:30:13] Maybe they do. Well, like. Hmm. This is holding. Okay. Now I'm imagining all of these different dragon types of sex. Mm hmm. But then at the end they're breathing fire. So like you're going to change that position up probably. I know. Or they're going to point their head up or something. Right. Like don't blow me up. Be safe. Be safe. Practice safe dragon sex. Have the fire extinguisher on the nightstand. Yeah. Okay. Good Lord. What have we done? Oh my God. So.

[00:30:44] Okay. This part next part is funny. So, okay. You know, like reptiles. Uh huh. If you have a pet reptile, if you tap it on its head. Okay. It's supposed to kind of like submit to you. It does. Yeah. Some people are the same. They do that. Okay. Yeah. So people have the same theories of dragon sex. Like submit to me, tap it on its head. Okay. I don't know. Damn it. If only dragons were real so we could test this theory. Right. Okay. That's all you Eve.

[00:31:14] I mean like when I find a dragon, first of all, I'm going to be fucking filthy rich. Second of all, that's, that's the end of that story. It's so hard. If I find a dragon for us to tap on the head. Hold on. Let me, let me look at those. I don't know where to go from here. Oh yeah. That seems like a, we're on an adventure now. All right. Um, everybody, all, everybody send us some fan art about me tapping a dragon on the head. Did you see? Oh God. That'd be fantastic. Oh, it would be fantastic. Do it.

[00:31:43] Did you see the dragon leather masks that people wear? Yes. I've seen those actually tons too at like Rin Fest. Yeah. Even like the full body suits. Oh yeah. Mm hmm. Yes. Those are cool. Yeah. Those are very cool. I mean, and the, actually the work that goes into making those is, is quite, quite extensive. I bet. Mm hmm. It really is. I mean, leather work in itself is a, is a, is a very difficult art. Did you see the dragon head flashlights?

[00:32:13] Uh, not for this, but I have seen them before. Yes. I'm going to show you pictures. Oh, hi. Oh, there's one with penis in it. So explain it, describe it what you're seeing. Well, uh, that looks like. It's a flashlight. It's a flashlight. You put your dick in a dragon's mouth. Yep. I don't know how else to describe that. That's exactly what it looks like. Everybody Google it. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for that. Uh, you're welcome. Oh, the dragon egg. You're really breathing fire now.

[00:32:43] Oh God. Oh God. Ew. Wow. Yep. Man. Imagine, imagine somebody with fire crotch. Ew. Ew. I thought you, there's so many different types of fire crotches. I don't know which one you meant. I'm talking about redheads. Okay. I wasn't sure which one you meant. Reef fire on that fire crotch. I mean, okay, that's probably a bad joke, but it was pretty funny. God. Since it's grossed you out. I thought you meant a different type of, nevermind.

[00:33:12] I know exactly what you meant now. Okay. That's not what I meant. Come on. Oh God. Okay. Anyways. Oh my God. Did you see the dragon eggs sex toys? No. What? No. These, what, how did you not see this? I don't know. Oh my goodness. Let me bring it up here on Google. I didn't, I didn't look up sex toys. Really? Okay. So it's like this one.

[00:33:38] You put an egg inside of the toy and you can put it inside your, you can put it. So it's like, it's like, what do you, what do I say? No, no. No. So it's a, it's like a dildo and it's a, it's a hollow dildo. Yeah. And you put these like silicone eggs inside of the hollow tube of the dildo. Okay. And then you insert the dildo either into your pussy or your.

[00:34:08] Other areas. Yeah. Back door. And then you have sex with it, do whatever you want to do. And then you birth out this dragon egg. You insert the dragon egg inside of you. And then you birth. It looks more like a, a really thin volcano than a dragon. That's apparently what a dragon penis looks like. Oh, oh, that tracks a small volcano, you know. Sure. Yes. Okay. We just learned something today.

[00:34:35] So you can birth some dragon eggs after having sex with a dragon. Uh huh. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Um, there's also a ball gag. Okay. That you can wear. Uh huh. Where. Let me. Does it make you breathe fire? Cause if it doesn't, then they, they missed out on that. That's would be amazing. Million dollar opportunity right there. No kidding. Five dollar opportunity. Let me look it up. It's like a ball gag dragon tongue.

[00:35:05] How would you do that? To make it breathe fire safely? Maybe it's just like. I don't know if that'd be safe. Probably not. It'd have to be like, you know, like when you make those vault volcanoes like an elementary Yes. You just use like. Well. Baking soda and red, red dye and shit. Well, we went into further detail now. Everyone go listen to episode four about pyrophilia. Yeah. Yeah. But here's the dragon tongue gag ball. Ew. So it looks, you wear the harness of the gag ball on your face, obviously.

[00:35:35] And it looks like you have a dragon tongue coming out of your mouth and it vibrates apparently. Yeah. That's looks more like, um, if Darth Maul had a tongue that doesn't look like a dragon to me. There is many different words for it. So that dragon is just one of them. Yeah. You should definitely look that up. Everyone. Everyone. Oh boy. Uh, media pop culture. Yeah. Songs first. Sure.

[00:36:03] I didn't really come up with a whole lot. Okay. There wasn't a lot of songs that were kinky songs about dragons. So. I found. Let me find this. Do do do do. But we can make one about dragon. He's nuts. Oh God. Wouldn't that be funny? Everybody's going to hate me. So many times at the end of this episode. You've actually been doing well, really well. Not too many times. I know. It's just like now that I said that. Yeah. We'll just end it with like a whole song about it. So that I wrote on the spot. Love it. Mm hmm.

[00:36:33] Hate it. Okay. So, um, guitar hero. Uh huh. Yeah. So the metal band dragon force, their Grammy nominated platinum selling metal band. Yeah. One of their songs called through the fire and flames was actually featured on guitar hero three. Mm hmm. It's actually the hardest mistake. It is. Difficult song there on the game. Mm hmm. You're like, you can make zero mistakes. Oh yeah. It's a very lost song available to play. Oh. After you complete the expert level. Well. To beat the entire game.

[00:37:03] Right. So. Got it. What else for songs? Um, there are some. Do, do, do, do. I didn't really come up with anything. It was like, there are surprisingly few. We don't know. So there's some like medieval rock bands that have some cool songs. Mm hmm. They're all new. Danny said his AI. So I'm like, okay, well.

[00:37:28] The only thing I can think of is like, um, uh, in the Witcher, the, the, the, the guy that's like a coin for your, which would have the whole that song is, but that's not even about dragons. It's literally the only thing I can think of that was. Media and pop culture. It was hard. There wasn't much. No, there really wasn't. A lot of it was like stuff that we really, you know, it's not stuff we would talk about because it's not related. Oh, uh, the band imagine dragons. Yeah. Yeah. So they don't really sing about dragons, but their name. Yeah.

[00:37:55] And apparently the name imagine dragons is an anagram. Oh, is it? I did not know that. If you scramble up the letters, it creates something else. And that's the real name for the band that they wanted to use, but they didn't like it. And apparently it's a mystery. Like nobody can figure out what the original name is because they won't tell anybody. But Reddit had some theories, um, for imagine dragons. It could mean ragged insomnia. That sounds not good.

[00:38:24] Or God is in a manger. God is in a manger. Or aged men's radio. That actually sounds like. So imagine men's radio. They were like, we don't like any of these. Yeah. So we're going to scramble the word. Scramble the letters. Yeah. Fuck it. I think it's all a gimmick. I think they're lying. They were just trying to get the internet to talk about them. You know what? That tracks. You know what? Smart. Whatever. Video games though. There is definitely some stuff there. Skyrim and Baldur's Gate three.

[00:38:55] Mm hmm. Okay. Yeah. So you know more about than I do. Yeah. Well, so there's, there's stuff there, but, um, there. So I actually play a game called Guild Wars two. Okay. Yeah. I've been playing it since beta. No big deal. I've got 20 max characters, you know, haha. You're like really pretty. I'm like really pretty, but the whole, like a whole bunch of the lore and the story in the game is all about dragons.

[00:39:18] And there's definitely like some romance that adjacent stuff with the dragons. Like you, you can, like the main, your, your character can mesh with the fucking dragon and like you speak to each other and stuff like that. So that's one example. But there is a whole episode of Rick and Morty where Rick actually, um, like melds with the dragon.

[00:39:44] And it's like, they're all like, like filthy sex dragons in this episode. So that is the only thing I could find that's directly related. Wow. About kink for video games for TV. No, that was on TV. Okay. Really media. Everything else was kind of like, is this is adjacent. It's adjacent. I mean, in virtual reality VR chat, there's obviously dragon avatars that are sexy looking. Yeah.

[00:40:11] I think what I think here is that because we've discovered there's not a lot of that shit out there. Oh, there are romance novels and stuff like that. True. Yeah. You're right. Lots of, yep. We could make some stuff. We could, we should. We should actually. There's a movie called I am dragon. It's a Russian movie with English subtitles. I did watch some of it. The whole thing's basically like a princess gets taken from a dragon and taken to his island and she tries to get rescued. Take him from a dragon or by a dragon? By a dragon. Sorry. Yeah.

[00:40:44] And it's basically like a beauty and the beast story. Yeah. Where she actually finds he turns into a human when she falls in love with him. And I watched a little bit of it. It was actually not bad. Gotcha. Yes. Very Stockholm syndrome falls in love, whatever. Yeah. But it was, it was a good movie though. It's a good storyline. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Oh, one quick note about the movie. The girl eats only like dragon fruit on the island.

[00:41:14] I noticed that. And full circle. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That is hilarious. Only dragon fruit available. Yes. That's it. Oh, God. Wow. Oh, the Sims. Oh, yeah. This isn't like sexual, but there's a little, um, expansion pack or something where you can adopt a dragon pet and it follows you around everywhere. Ooh. I don't know. Yeah. There wasn't much.

[00:41:42] There's probably more books than anything else. Oh yeah. For sure. Like you said. Yeah, absolutely. Cool. Well, that's all I got for, uh, for media and such. Me too. Or just going to go be dragging these nuts. I'm gonna drag these nuts cross your chest. There we go. All right. But no. God damn it. You can go dragging those five stars across the web.

[00:42:10] Yeah, can you drag your five stars right across our pages? Hey-o. Check us out at kingsandcocktails.com, all of our social media. Yeah. It was a hard episode to do. I know. I loved it. That was great. It was good. I have a very funny idea for our next episode. I'll tell you after we're done recording. Oh, yeah. We can't tell anybody. Nope. I think you're gonna love it. All right. We love you all. Thank you all for listening. Yes. Until next time. Bye!